


Why Don't You and I?

by Phoenix_Song



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Get Together, MWPP Era, Marauders' Era, Prequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-21
Updated: 2012-03-21
Packaged: 2017-11-02 08:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Song/pseuds/Phoenix_Song





	1. Chapter 1

**First year**

  
James Potter glanced around the platform, the hand in his pocket playing idly with the snitch that he’d nicked from his father’s  quidditch set. Although James would never admit it to anybody, even his best friend Sirius Black, he was a little nervous about going away to Hogwarts for school. He had taken the snitch with him thinking that he would be okay if he just brought with him some reminder of the hours he’d spent playing quidditch in the yard with his dad. He pulled the tiny golden ball out to inspect it, admiring, as always, the delicate flutter of the silver wings and the way that the light glinted off of the perfectly spherical body and he was just congratulating himself on the fact that nobody had noticed he’d taken it when—  
  
“James!” his mother cried in exasperation.   
  
_Uh-oh._  
  
He quickly tried to hide the snitch, but it was too late. “Your father will have your neck if he finds out that you nicked that from his  Quidditch set. Hand that snitch over right this instant!”  
  
James winced, and reluctantly handed over the Snitch, trying not to think about what school would be like without that reminder from home. “Sorry,” he mumbled, though, if he were being truthful, he wasn’t sorry in the least that he’d taken it—only that he’d gotten caught.   
  
He should have left it in his pocket until he was safely on the train. His mother didn’t miss much, and he should have known she’d realize right away that he’d taken it from his dad’s set.  
  
He didn’t have long to dwell on it, for his thoughts were interrupted by an excited shout.   
  
“Hey Jamey-poo!” the voice exclaimed, and James whirled around quickly in excitement, grinning widely at the sight of his best friend bounding toward him, black hair flopping into his eyes.  
  
“Call me that at school, and I’ll make sure that everyone knows about your mum’s nickname for you, Sirikins,” he retorted, giving Sirius a small shove.   
  
A feeling of relief washing over him as he realized that he would still be taking something from home with him, in the form of Sirius, who was better than a snitch any day! He glanced up, looking around to see if there was anyone else he knew on the platform, and his gaze landed on a vision that he was certain to remember for the rest of his life.  
  
Standing directly across from James, watching him, was a small, red-headed girl. She looked slightly overwhelmed, and didn’t appear to have any adults with her. Her deep-green eyes met his, and James felt his breath catch in his throat as a flush crept across her cheeks. She was gorgeous. He couldn’t remember ever having known a girl that took his breath away like this one did.   
  
_She’s beautiful._  
  
Stop standing there like an idiot! She’s staring at you. Do something to make her smile!   
  
Right, right… Potter charm.  
  
James grinned, and winked at the girl, turning on the Potter charm like his dad had taught him. Her flush deepened, and she turned quickly away, but it was a moment before James could take his eyes off of her.   
  
“ Siri,” he said earnestly, “I’ve just found the girl I’m going to marry.” 

 

  
_Since the moment I spotted you_  
I've walked around with little wings on my shoes  
My stomach's filled with the butterflies   
And it's alright

 

  
Was it the end of their first term at Hogwarts already? James could hardly believe that they were already back on Platform 9 & 3/4s in London, saying goodbye to one another for the summer. It had been an amazing year, and he had so many fond memories that he was finding it hard to pick just one. Of course, it hadn’t been all smooth sailing. For one thing, he and the girl he was going to marry—though she didn’t know it just yet—had stumbled across a dark wizard’s plans for immortality and had nearly been killed trying to stop him. They’d been successful, and the ordeal had even gotten Lily to be nice to him, a situation that he’d thought to be nearly impossible up until that point.  
  
Despite the fact that he was head over heals in love with Lily, she didn’t exactly feel the same way about him. Or at least, she claimed not to feel the same way about him. He sort of suspected that she wasn’t being completely truthful about her feelings when she was yelling at him, and telling all and sundry that he was an annoying git. There were a few reasons that James suspected that Lily liked him more than she let on—or liked him at all, actually. To start with, he and the other Marauders, as he, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had decided to call themselves, had played a trick on Lily and her two friends, whom they’d dubbed “the Gryffindor Princesses”. They’d bewitched their curtains to flash “Princesses Drool, Marauders Rule”, and he had it on very good authority that she’d decided to leave the message on the curtains, even after the princesses had discovered the counter-charm. According to his source, Lily had left it up because it had become “as much a part of Gryffindor” as any of the princesses were, but James knew better. She’d left it up to have a constant reminder of him around. That was his theory, anyway, though Sirius, Remus and Peter liked to laugh at him when he said it.   
  
The other reason that James was certain that Lily liked him was something that he hadn’t told anyone except Sirius. He’d gotten Lily to allow him to help her in her worst class, Transfiguration, by betting that if he helped her, and she still scored worse than he did, he would leave her alone for good. He tended to forget about that part of the bet, however, because he had had no intention of allowing himself to lose. The bet proved that she liked him, in his opinion, because she’d agreed that if she beat him on the Transfiguration final, she would give him a kiss, and she’d never have agreed to that if she didn’t like him. There was too great of a risk to take, if she didn’t like him. He’d made certain that she beat him—losing to Lily Evans on a Transfiguration exam was nothing because of the reward that lay in store for him.  
  
Of course, James hadn’t really scored worse than her. Sirius had simply transfigured her score when she looked at it to make her think that she had. He didn’t feel too guilty about tricking her like that, though. After all, he knew the truth, didn’t he? It was his responsibility to make her see it!  
  
“Looks like you lost the bet, Remmy,” Peter said, hiking his backpack up on his shoulder and holding out his hand to Remus. “Lily didn’t kiss him.”  
  
“Don’t pay up just yet, Remmy,” James advised, looking around the platform. His eyes landed on Lily. He faltered for a moment.  
  
 _It’s now or never_ buddy!  
  
I know…I know that!   
  
She’s about to go through the barrier. Say something!  
  
“Hey Evans!” he called out, smiling as Lily Evans turned around to face him, a look of bewilderment in her beautiful green eyes.  
  
 _I’d have used her first name. You ARE going to ask her to kiss you, after_ all. First name just seems appropriate in this instance.  
  
Where was that idea 10 seconds ago? Thanks for nothing!  
  
“My parents are waiting, Potter,” she admonished James, though he didn’t believe for one second that she was actually irritated with him.  
  
“Relax Evans,” James drawled. “This won’t take long.”   
  
_Well…go on! Say it!_  
  
Quit rushing me!  
  
He took a deep breath, trying to summon the Potter charm, and ignore the Cornish pixies that had started to dance a waltz in his stomach. She was staring at him, her eyes alight with curiosity.  
  
 _Say it!_  
  
I heard you!  
  
Then why are you still standing there, grinning at her?  
  
He had to admit he was right. He’d put off asking her to pay up on their bet long enough. Now was his last chance.   
  
_Be cool._  
  
Got it. Cool…cool…  
  
“Youowemeakiss,” he said, trying to sound smooth, but the words came tumbling out all at once, so that he barely understood himself. He flushed slightly, but determinedly kept his smile fixed in place.   
  
_Why is it you never take my advice!_  
  
Shut up! Let’s see you do any better.  
  
A blank look came across Lily’s face, and James groaned inwardly.   
  
_She doesn’t remember! You’ll have to tell her._  
  
Of course. Tell her. Wait a minute! TELL her???? She was supposed to REMEMBER!  
  
Well, she doesn’t, Romeo. Explain it to her. And try not to stumble on your words this time.   
  
If he could have, James would have stuck his tongue out at the voice. Talk about an annoying git! He refused to acknowledge that by calling the voice names, he was insulting himself, and instead focused on Lily.  
  
“Our bet? You scored one point higher on Transfiguration than I did,” James reminded Lily.  
  
James heard Sirius snort behind him, and wanted to yell at him to shut up, but if he had, it would have given away to Lily the fact that he’d cheated a little on their bet, and he couldn’t let her find out now, not now that he was so close to finally getting his kiss.   
  
_I’ll tell her someday. Maybe after she’d_ agrees to be my wife.  
  
Good way to begin a marriage.   
  
Shut up!  
  
Lily blinked, and the waltzing cornish pixies in his stomach switched to a feverish tango.   
  
_She looks so cute right now._  
  
“I forgot about that,” she said, after what seemed like an eternity, but in point of fact was really only a second or two.  
  
“Yes,” he said, and he could feel his cheeks growing hotter as she approached. “I rather thought you might.”   
  
Lily reached where he was standing, and his breath caught in his throat as she leaned over and brushed her lips against his cheek.   
  
_I’m the luckiest man alive._   
  
His cheek was burning where she’d kissed him, and he reached up and touched it softly with his fingers. “She kissed me,” he said in a daze. The entire world around him had ceased to exist, and for the moment, he was completely alone with his memory of her kiss.   
  


  
_Bouncing around from cloud to cloud  
I get the feeling like I'm never  gonna come down  
If I said I didn't like it then you know I lied_


	2. Chapter 2

**Second Year**

  
“Jamey!” James’s Aunt Kathy exclaimed, catching him up in a big hug. “I didn’t expect to see you until next week.”  
  
“Yes, well, mum had some errands to run, so she thought we may as well get my school supplies today, Aunt Kathy,” James explained, glancing around his aunt’s workplace for the candy jar that they invariably had there whenever he came to visit.   
  
Kathy noticed his wandering gaze and smiled. “You know, Jamey,” she teased gently, “ if I didn’t know better, I’d think you only come to visit me for the candy!”  
  
“I don’t visit you only for the candy,” James answered indignantly, grinning. “I came to get robes for school, too.”  
  
Kathy rolled her eyes, and reached behind the counter, pulling out a fire-ball and a bottle of butterbeer. “Hurry up and finish that, while I find out from your mum what you need this year.”  
  
Kathy went over to talk to James’s mum, and he quickly ate the fire-ball, grinning at the flames that shot out as he crunched it, and then gulped down his butterbeer.   
  
“Ready, Jamey?” his aunt asked, motioning for him to follow her into the measuring room in back. He nodded, and scrambled after her, stopping short as he noticed the young witch standing on one of the platforms, holding her arms out while Madam Malkin, Kathy’s boss, measured her. He grinned. Seeing Lily today was more than he could have wished for.  
  
“Hiya, Evans!” James said, jumping up onto the platform beside her. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”   
  
_Didn’t expect to see you here? Is that all you can come up with?_  
  
Shut up! I don’t see you doing any better.  
  
Give us a chance then.  
  
Fine.  
  
Fine.  
  
“Oh, Jamey! Is this a friend of yours?” his aunt asked, interrupting the argument ongoing in his head.  
  
 _Jamey???_  
  
Jamey???   
  
Of all of the witches in England in front of whom his aunt could have called him Jamey, why—WHY—did she have to pick Lily Evans?  
  
Lily giggled. “Jamey?” she asked, raising her eyebrow slightly.  
  
 _Play it cool._  
  
I know!  
  
“Yes, Jamey,” he said, glancing at Lily and smirking, as though he didn’t mind in the least.   
  
_Very cool._  
  
Thanks!   
  
“And I suppose you could say that, Aunt Kathy, though I’m not sure how much she likes me.” He smiled sweetly. “She did kiss me, though.”  
  
 _Now WHY would you say that? It’s only going to set her off._  
  
No, it won’t. It’ll remind her.   
  
Like she’s forgotten. You’re an idiot. She won’t appreciate you mentioning it in front of everyone!  
  
You’re the idiot! You clearly do not understand girls.  
  
And I suppose you do?  
  
Of course!  
  
Kathy laughed. “Now why doesn’t that surprise me? I don’t suppose she’ll be the last to kiss you, either. You’ve got the legendary Potter charm and more than your fair share too, I’d reckon!”  
  
 _Aunt Kathy!!!!_  
  
James wanted to sink through the floor. What would make his aunt say something like that? Even if you didn’t consider the fact that his aunt had just given up the secret of the Potter charm—a crime in and of  itself. The Potter charm was a secret supposed to be kept within the family—Lily was now certain to think that he wanted to kiss other girls   
  
“It was only on the cheek!” Lily protested. “And it wasn’t that at all, ma’am,” she added, looking at Kathy. “We had a bet.”  
  
 _Your mum’s going to kill you when she finds out you bet a girl to kiss you._  
  
I’m going to kill YOU if you don’t shut up! You thought it was a great idea at the time.  
  
Quit standing there like an idiot! Say something.  
  
What? Oh, oh right…   
  
“Which you lost,” he said as a blond little girl skipped into the room. “And so, you kissed me,”   
  
_No, not that!_  
  
You know, you’re awfully helpful at giving advice AFTER the fact.  
  
That’s because you don’t ask me before.  
  
Shut up.  
  
“First I find out you’re sneaking out at midnight and need a giant—” the little girl said.  
  
“Half-giant,” Lily corrected. “And what are you doing back already? I thought you’d be gone awhile.”  
  
“ Half-giant, then—to rescue you. And now you’re kissing boys? And you didn’t tell me?” the little girl asked.   
  
James couldn’t help but laugh about the furious flush that had crept across Lily’s cheeks at the young girl’s words. There was something about the entire situation that he found extremely funny, and he started laughing so hard that Kathy actually had to stop measuring him for a moment. The little girl—who James had concluded had to be Lily’s sister—was looking at him as though he were insane, which only made him laugh harder.  
  
“She kissed you?” the girl asked, wrinkling her nose, and James finally straightened up, the giggling fit subsiding. There was something about this child that he liked immediately, and he nodded, barely suppressing a grin as she swung her gaze back to Lily.  
  
“On the cheek!” Lily exclaimed, “And only because we made a ridiculous bet that I could never have expected to lose!”  
  
 _When are you going to admit that you want to kiss me?_  
  
Whatever you do, do not say  tha—  
  
“Oh, just admit it, Evans! You know you wanted to kiss me!” James was now thoroughly enjoying Lily’s discomfort, though he knew there’d be hell to pay later. He winked at Kathy and Lily’s sister.   
  
_Now WHY would you say that? Didn’t I just tell you NOT to say it?_  
  
I…I don’t know. I just got caught up in the moment. You don’t think it was charming?  
  
Charming? Have you gone mad? We’re dead. Just look at her!  
  
James detected a flash of lightning in Lily’s eyes that he had come to know was a warning sign for danger.  
  
 _Yes…we are._  
  
Madam  Malkin came to his rescue at that moment, however. “That’s you done, my dear,” she said, and Lily stepped off of the platform, muttering something, and began walking to the front of the store.  
  
 _Don’t just stand there! Apologize! You don’t want this to be her memory of_ you.   
  
Right.  
  
“You’ll admit it one day, Evans!” James called after her.  
  
“Over my dead body!” Lily retorted as James watched her storm out of the room.  
  
 _Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, buddy._  
  
So it would seem.  
  


__  
Every time I try to talk to you  
I get tongue-tied  
Turns out, everything I say to you  
Comes out wrong, it never comes out right

  
  
James rounded a corner, quickly making his way toward the library. He and the other Marauders had been in the common room, discussing their plans to “help” Remus, who they had discovered was a werewolf, during his transformations. During their brainstorming session, Remus had mentioned that he was pretty sure that he was only dangerous to humans. If that was true, then their idea to become animagi and join him during his transformations would work brilliantly, and he just wanted to check a book on werewolves to verify that Remus’s understanding of his condition was correct. As he drew nearer to the library, his heart leapt. It was Lily’s voice. He increased his speed, anxious for any chance to speak with her, even if she was irritated with him at the moment. He knew that she couldn’t stay angry with him for very long, and now was the perfect chance to turn on the Potter charm and calm her down.   
  
He reached the end of the corridor, and took a deep breath before turning the corner. The scene that confronted him made him feel as though he had just been punched, and his thoughts automatically switched to the prophecy that Lily had made on Halloween. She’d claimed to have seen her marriage to Snape, but James had comforted himself with the thought that the prophecy had to have been wrong—that Lily had somehow known that it made him sick to his stomach to even think about, and that she was just teasing him. The scene that he was witnessing, however, shattered that thought. Snape and Lily were standing in front of him, Snape giving Lily a genuine look of tenderness, which Lily was returning without hesitation.  
  
Snape’s gaze lifted to rest on James, and his smile turned to a sneer. Lily’s eyes met James’s a moment later, and James flinched at the look of contempt in their depths. It was identical to Snape’s and James found that he was unable to comprehend why the girl that he was in love with was currently giving him the same look that he was receiving from his enemy. “Potter,” she and Snape said in unison. “What are you doing here?”   
  
James felt blood began to pound through his ears as rage, pure and unadulterated, coursed through his veins. “GET AWAY FROM HER SNAPE!” James shouted.  
  
“I won’t,” Snape answered, returning his gaze to Lily. Snape’s mouth curled into a nasty smile. “Since Lily and I are ‘fated’ to be together, we need to get to know one another. I can’t do that if I don’t go near her, Potter.”  
  
James struggled desperately to bring his emotions under control before he spoke again. The rational part of his brain was telling him that he had to convince Snape that the notion of Lily being a seer was ridiculous. If Snape believed that Lily’s vision had been real, she would be put in very real danger. Keeping Lily safe had to be his number one priority right now. There would be time to deal with his emotions later. He took a deep breath, and tried to give a careless laugh. “Oh, come on, Snape! You know as well as I do that Lily isn’t a seer!”  
  
“Do I?” Snape asked, and James had to resist the urge to beat the self-satisfied smirk off of his face. “Then why have you been cornering me all the time, demanding that I leave Lily alone or answer to you and your friends? If you aren’t concerned that there is some truth to her vision, then why have you been threatening to hex me into next year if I so much as even look at her?”  
  
James’s anger was now directed at himself. He hadn’t stopped to consider that his behavior would confirm Snape’s suspicion about Lily’s gift. And he also knew that no matter his motives for threatening Snape, Lily was going to take his actions the wrong way. She wouldn’t understand that he was trying to keep Snape from hurting her, as he knew—KNEW—Snape ultimately would. She would only think that he was trying to interfere with her life, when all he had wanted to do—all that he ever wanted to do—was to protect her.   
  
James suddenly realized that Lily was giving him an odd look, and he wondered if she could tell what he was thinking. He’d wanted for so long to tell her how much he cared about her, but he had always been unable to find the right words. He returned her gaze, trying to communicate his feelings to her, but she looked away.   
  
A slight grin lit up her features, and James felt his heart leap for a moment, but the grin disappeared so quickly that he thought there was a very good chance he had imagined it. When she finally did bring her gaze back to him again, he thought he finally understood why his grandpa used to talk about looks that could kill. Lily’s gaze was murderous, and he felt it slice through him all the way to the depths of his heart. “Just what gives you the right to tell Severus to stay away from me, Potter?”   
  
_Here it is._ Your big chance. Tell her!  
  
Right…Tell her. TELL her? Tell her what?  
  
The truth. How you feel about her.  
  
Right…how I feel.  
  
“What do you mean, what gives me the right, Evans? Haven’t I told you time and again what kind of wizard Snape is? I’ve made sure he won’t harass you. You should be thanking me!”  
  
 _Not exactly the words I would have chosen. For instance, I’d have used her_ first name.  
  
Shut up!   
  
“Thanking you?” Lily was now asking furiously. “Thanking you for deciding who I can and can’t be friends with? What’s next Potter? Are you going to start telling me how I should dress and the best way to wear my hair?”  
  
 _I really like it when you leave it loose._  
  
I think she was being sarcastic.  
  
Right, I knew that.  
  
“Just WHO do you think you are?” she finished.   
  
Snape glanced lazily at James. “Yes, Potter,” he agreed, “It’s not as though you’re Lily’s boyfriend—”  
  
James felt his blood begin to boil again at Snape’s words. A wizard who would never see Lily as more than a worthless muggle-born did not deserve to use the beautiful name that her muggle parents had so lovingly chosen to give her. He couldn’t consciously explain why it bothered him so much, for it was more an instinctual reaction than a conscious thought, but he knew that he could not let the implied intimacy in Snape’s words go unchallenged.  
  
“Don’t you call her Lily,” he spat, his hand inching involuntarily toward his wand. “You don’t deserve that familiarity—,”  
  
“He deserves whatever familiarity that I choose to grant him, Potter,” Lily countered defiantly. “It’s my choice, and my choice alone, and I don’t need your—or anyone else’s—approval. Now, if you don’t mind, Severus, I have to get to my meeting.”  
  
James had the sudden wild thought that maybe Snape had used a confundus charm on Lily. It seemed the only logical explanation for Lily’s behavior. She was far too smart to be fooled by Snape’s act. The comfort he felt at the thought, however, evaporated a split second later.  
  
“I’ll see you at the library tomorrow afternoon for our date,” Snape said, leaning over and giving Lily a kiss before he turned and walked away.   
  
James didn’t know what to do. His hand was itching to hex Snape, to punish him for daring to kiss Lily, but even as the thought occurred to him, he dismissed it. Lily would kill him if he did. It would only make things worse.  
  
“Is there anything I—,” Lily said, her fingers still resting where Snape had kissed her. “Anything I can do for you?”   
  
James stared at her for a moment, unable to think of anything to say. The girl that he was quite sure had been created solely for him had just confirmed her intention to go out with the one boy at Hogwarts who would never appreciate her for what she was. It didn’t even matter that Snape was his sworn enemy; it only mattered that the Slytherin would never look beyond who Lily’s parents were, and see all of the laughter, all of the love, all of the creativity—all of the heart—that was the very essence of Lily Evans. Lily would never be anything more to Snape than just a _mudblood_ —James choked on the words—and yet she was still falling for him. James’s heart shattered at the thought.  
  
 _Tell her that._  
  
What?  
  
That. What you just thought. THAT’S what she wants to hear.  
  
It won’t matter. I can’t fight fate. You heard the vision.   
  
You know in your heart that she’s meant for you.  
  
Then why is she with him?   
  
“No,” he said finally, turning to walk away.  
  
“Potter?” she called after him, and he felt his heart soar at the thought that she might tell him it was all just a joke, that she didn’t like  Severus, that she really wanted to go out with him, instead.   
  
“Yes?” he asked, barely daring to hope. If she even just said “I’m sorry”, he thought he would finally be able to tell her that he liked her. But she didn’t.   
  
“Should anything happen to Severus as a result of our confrontation today, it would not please me. I’m no longer going to be your punching bag, Potter, and I won’t allow Severus to be either, are we clear?”  
  
All emotion seeped out of James’s body at her words, and although he wanted to feel angry, wanted to feel upset, wanted to feel…anything, really, other than this horrible aching emptiness that suddenly filled his being, he couldn’t. He no longer had a heart left with which to feel. She’d destroyed it. “Crystal,” he responded.  
  
“Good,” she said, turning and walking away from him.  
  
His instinct was urging him to call out, to make her stop, but he found he couldn’t get the words out. She had nearly reached the end of the corridor when at last he was able to speak. “Lily!” he called out listlessly, but if she heard him, she ignored him, and disappeared around the corner without acknowledging he’d said anything at all. “Why don’t you forget about Snape, and go out with me?” he whispered, although he knew it was already too late.  
  


  
_So l say why don't you and I get together  
We’ll take on the world, be together forever  
Heads we will and tails we'll try again_

 


	3. Third and Fourth Year

**Third Year**

  
“You’re really going to do this,  Jamesy?” Sirius was asking skeptically, glancing between James, and Lily, who was sitting across the room from them.  
  
James took a deep breath. “Yes, yes I am.”   
  
He had been watching Lily carefully since they had returned from the summer holiday, and he was certain that she had realized her feelings for him over break. Why else would she get so angry and upset with him all of the time? She was upset with herself for falling for the Potter charm, that’s why. It was the only rational explanation.  
  
 _Unless she really does just find you irritating._ __  
  
Maybe I find YOU irritating.  
  
Then you and she agree on something.  
  
Shut up.  
  
  
“You might have thought about asking her before you decided to hex  Snape earlier today,” Remus admonished as only Remus could. Any other Marauder would have gotten his head bit off for suggesting to James that perhaps hexing Snape was not the best way to go about catching Lily’s eye, but not Remus. He wasn’t saying it to give James a hard time, he was simply speaking the truth as he saw it, and James admired that.  
  
 _He’s got a point, you know._  
  
Didn't I tell you to shut up?  
  
“Too late for that now, Moony,” James replied, standing up. “Okay, that’s it, here I go.”  
  
James strode across the common room, the well-wishes (or laughter) of his friends echoing in his ears.   
  
“Hey Evans,” he called out, pausing in front of her chair.  
  
 _Yet another time that the first name would have been more appropriate._ _You are asking her out, after all._ Seems like that would demand a little more familiarity.  
  
You know--  
  
But he didn’t have time to finish the thought, because at that moment, she looked up from the book that she was reading, and he found himself once again caught up in her beauty. She was curled up with a book in a chair next to the fire, wearing a pair of muggle jeans and a t-shirt, her school robes discarded much earlier in the evening in favor of comfort. As James's gaze traveled over her body, couldn’t help but think that the muggles had the right idea when it came to dress. In his opinion, Lily’s outfit emphasized every curve in just the right place, whereas her school robes would have obscured all that was lovely about her figure. Lily’s hair, for once freed from the ponytail in which she usually wore it, cascaded softly to her shoulders, the light catching the blond highlights and making it dance softly in the firelight. Her brilliant green eyes were narrowed slightly, and he gulped. Here it was…the opportunity he’d been waiting two long years for.  
  
 _Don’t screw it up!_  
  
Thanks for the confidence boost.  
  
“Can I help you, Potter?” she asked coolly.  
  
Not exactly the greeting that he’d been hoping for. “ Er…well, yes, yes you can.”  
  
“I’m not helping you with the Charms you missed because you were too busy playing football (a/n: American soccer) with Severus, Potter,” she retorted.  
  
Well, at least they were on familiar territory. He was used to Lily being defensive. He allowed himself to look hurt. “I’m hurt, Evans, I truly am. It’s not my fault that he got in the way of my attempt to transfigure Black’s owl into a football. You know that I had no intention—”  
  
“I know,” she interrupted him, “that you had every intention, Potter. In fact, I know that you’ve probably spent most of your free time the last month figuring out how to carry out that very prank.”  
  
 _Not true. We’ve only been working on that transfiguration for a week!_  
  
Good point.  
  
Thank you.  
  
“Yes, well…be that as it may, I’m not actually here for your Charms notes.”  
  
Lily’s eyes narrowed some more, and James wished that he could think of something to say that would make her laugh. He loved her smile, and found that it was too rarely directed at him these days. “What are you here for, then?” she asked, her voice ringing with suspicion.  
  
He flinched involuntarily.   
  
_This is not going well._  
  
I know that! I don’t need YOU to point it out to me!  
  
“I just, uh…well,  Hogsmeade weekend is coming up, and as you can finally go, I thought…well…you might like to go with me.”  
  
Her eyes widened, and she looked at him in what could only be astonishment for a moment. “Are you actually asking me out, Potter?” she asked.  
  
“No,” he said quickly. “Well, yes. I mean, kind of. I just thought that since I’ve been there so often, I could show you around, so you don’t miss any of the good stuff.”  
  
Lily was still staring at him in amazement. “You honestly want to show me around Hogsmeade?”  
  
“Yes,” James replied, nodding fervently. He was so nervous that even his heart seemed to be dancing to its own rhythm, and he found he suddenly couldn’t meet her eyes.  
  
“Well, I’m afraid I can’t accept, Potter. Severus has already offered to show me around.”  
  
 _Don’t insult him, don’t insult him, don’t—_  
  
“SNIVELLUS?” he nearly shouted, the tightrope that was his nerves snapping.   
  
_Idiot._  
  
“And you agreed to go with him?”  
  
“Of course,” Lily said simply. “Why wouldn’t I?”  
  
“Why?” James repeated. “Why??? Honestly, Evans, for someone so clever, you can be incredibly dense.”  
  
 _NOT the right thing to say._  
  
I KNOW that! You’re not helping.  
  
Lily had now uncurled from the chair and set aside the book that she was reading. She stood up slowly, and drew herself up to her full height. James realized with a start that he was now looking up to her. Apparently she’d grown over the summer, for she now towered over him by a full inch. He could tell by the flash in her eyes that she was about to lay into him, and he watched her warily, searching frantically for something to stem her tirade before it began.   
  
“Just a minute, Evans,” he said finally, holding up a hand to stop her. “Can we start over, please? This didn’t go exactly as I’d planned it.”  
  
“If your plan involved me saying yes in any way, Potter,” she hissed, “there’s no need to start over. That will never happen.”  
  
 _It will. I’ll make you see._  
  
Too right you will.   
  
“All right then, Evans,” he said, shrugging as though it made little difference to him.  “Just thought I’d offer my Hogsmeade expertise to you.” He turned and trotted back to the Marauders, who were all trying desperately to conceal their laughter.   
  
_Just a minor setback._ _We’ll be together some day._   
  
  


_So I say why don't_ you and I hold each other?  
Fly to the moon and straight onto heaven.  
Cause without you they're never  gonna let me in  
  
  
 **Fourth Year**

  
Fifteen-year-old James grabbed a book off of a nearby shelf, not even bothering to look at what he’d grabbed, and flipped it open, trying desperately not to think of his friends who were, even as he sat there, attempting to kidnap Mrs. Norris and ransom her for the dung bombs and fireworks that Filch had confiscated from them earlier that week. James wanted to be with them, but he was determined to show Lily that he wasn’t the arrogant  prat that she thought he was. Alice and Amelia had agreed to send Lily to the library by herself that evening so that James would have an opportunity to be alone with her, and he’d been unsuccessful at convincing Sirius to hold off on the kidnapping until the next day. Sirius had been certain that their dung bombs and fireworks would be destroyed if they waited, and while James had hated to admit it, Sirius was right.   
  
Still, James couldn’t be certain that Alice and Amelia would agree to help him again, particularly if they discovered that he’d blown off this opportunity with Lily in order to help his friends, so he had no choice but to skip the marauding, and wait at the library for Lily. He planned to take advantage of the fact that Lily was alone, and therefore less combative and defensive, to make her see that he was, in fact, a charming and wonderful person. He had no idea just how, exactly, he was going to accomplish that, but he know that if he didn’t, he would end up driving her right into Snape’s arms, and anyone with half a brain could see that Snape was only using her to get to him.   
  
James’s hand curled into a fist at the thought of his nemesis. Snape's family was even more fanatical about pure-blood than the Blacks were, and unlike Sirius, Snape followed his family’s teachings. To make things worse, Snape knew more dark magic than most students in their seventh year training to become aurors, and he was buddies with Lucius Malfoy, meaning that every time Lily was around him, she was risking her very safety. James couldn’t understand what Lily saw in Snape, but over the last two years, he had developed a sneaking suspicion that it was his own behavior that was driving Lily to Snape. Although he hated to admit it, it seemed that every time that she caught him levitating Snape and hanging him on a lantern, she and Snape became even closer. He didn’t know what to do.   
  
_You could just leave Snape alone._  
  
James angrily flipped a page of the book.  
  
 _No. Never._  
  
He flipped to the next page.  
  
 _Your funeral._  
  
He flipped another page.  
  
 _Yours too._  
  
“Hi Potter, what are you reading?” Lily’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up, trying to hide his discomfort with a wide smile.  
  
“Hi Evans, I—”  
  
 _Good question._ _What am I reading?_  
  
James flipped the book shut and glanced at the title, then groaned inwardly. Of all of the books that he could have pulled off of the shelf, he’d picked up “You Can Be Womanly, Beautiful, and Powerful, Too: A Guide for Young Witches”   
  
_Well done._  
  
Shut up!  
  
She glanced at the book, and then back at James quizzically. “Nothing,  er…nothing,” he mumbled, standing up quickly and trying to re-shelve the book on the bookshelf behind him. The book struggled against his efforts to push it into the opening, and James gave one final push against the binding before giving up and releasing it. The book flew off, tut-tutting loudly, and re-shelving itself in the proper place further down the stack. “Apparently that wasn’t where I got the book from,” he added, turning back to Lily with a nervous smile.  
  
“If you’re not here to read, why are you here?” Lily asked curiously.  
  
 _To talk to her._ _Tell her you’re here to talk_ to her.  
  
No! Are you mad? I’m not going to say that.   
  
Why not? It’s good!  
  
You wouldn’t know ‘good’ if it danced naked in front of you.  
  
Wish Lily would dance naked in front of me.  
  
FOCUS!  
  
Right.   
  
“Homework,” he said quickly. “Why are you here?”  
  
“I’m always here this time of night,” she said, smiling and shaking her head. To his surprise she sat down next to him. “You’re not working on Transfiguration, are you?”  
  
“Yes,” he said, reaching into his backpack. In reality, he’d finished his Transfiguration homework hours ago, but she didn’t know that, and if it meant that she was sitting beside him, working quietly, and not yelling, then he was more than happy to do it all over again. He pulled out his Transfiguration book and quill, silently thanking the quirk of fate that had possessed him to bring it with him and summoned the ink well that was sitting on the end of the table. “You?”  
  
Lily sighed heavily. “Me too. I’ve been working on it all afternoon, but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. This assignment’s a nightmare, isn’t it?”  
  
“I thought it was easy,” he said dipping his quill into the ink well.   
  
She glanced at him sharply.   
  
_Bloody hell._ __  
  
You can say that again.  
  
Bloody hell.  
  
“I mean, er…well, actually, as it turns out, I’ve just finished Transfiguration. But I’ll be happy to help you with it, if you’d like.”  
  
Lily looked at him suspiciously. “What’s going on, Potter?” she asked. “You’re never this nice to me.”  
  
 _Ouch._  
  
“That hurts, Evans,” James said, smiling. “I’m always this nice to you.”  
  
“No, Potter,” she countered. “You’re not. Since I need to get this done, I suppose I’ll overlook your ulterior motives for the moment, but if you insult  Snape, or try to turn this into an opportunity to hit on me, I’m leaving.”  
  
 _She called him_ Snape.  
  
Yes, and she also told—hang on. She called him Snape.  
  
James smiled brightly. Snape must have done something to upset her if Lily had reverted to using his last name. This was exactly the opening that he’d been hoping for. “Right.”  
  
Lily gave him a funny look. “What?” she asked.  
  
“Oh, I was just saying, right… Don’t hit on you, and don’t insult Snape. I can do that.”  
  
She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Can you?” she queried.  
  
He grinned in spite of himself. “I honestly don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “We’re in uncharted territory here. But I promise to give it my best shot.”  
  


  
_When's this fever_ gonna break ?  
I think I've handled more than any man can take  
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around  
And it's alright


	4. Fifth Year

**Fifth Year**

  
James flew up the stairs of the dormitory and burst into his room, searching madly for his friends. “ Siri, Moony, Petey!” he shouted. “Sirius!” He went back into the stairwell, glancing up and down it, wondering where his friends were. The shower was going in the bathroom, so he stuck his head through the door.   
  
“Sirius, is that you? Get out here! I need to talk to you.”  
  
“What is it, Jamesy?” Sirius’s voice replied from behind the steam.  
  
“Just get out here, and I’ll tell you!” James replied.  
  
“Fine, but this had better be good!” Sirius responded, and the sound of the water beating against the tile wall of the shower stopped. “Hand me a towel, will you?”   
  
James reached out and set a towel into Sirius’s outstretched hand. “I’ll be in our room,” James said, grinning giddily.   
  
Sirius strolled in a few minutes later, damp hair uncombed, towel tied loosely around his waist. “What do you want?” he asked, walking over to the mirror and picking up a comb. “You interrupted my shower.”  
  
James stared at Sirius for a moment before shaking his head. He knew no other man who would be upset about his shower being cut short. “What’s the matter Siri?” he inquired, laughing. “Didn’t get completely through your conditioning regimen before I interrupted?”  
  
Sirius glared at him. “Laugh if you will, but the girls love my hair,” he said vainly, reaching for the gel and combing it through his hair with his fingers, before turning back around to look at James. “So, what’s all the fuss about?”  
  
“Where are Moony and Petey?” James asked, his eyes dancing in excitement.  
  
Sirius shrugged and began changing into his robes. “Last I saw, Moony was dragging Petey off to the library to work on some Potions homework. I politely declined the invitation.”  
  
“Perfectly understandable,” James agreed. “You had a hair emergency to take care of.”  
  
Sirius swatted James with his towel. “Too right I did. Now…WHAT is your news?”  
  
James smiled, and ran his hands through his hair, trying to look cool. “Lily—,” he began, but Sirius interrupted him with a groan.  
  
“If I have to listen to one more plot by you to get Evans to go out with you, Jamesy, I think I’ll go mad. No, I mean it. I’ll go completely insane. Completely! And think of all the broken hearts that would result when I'm transferred to St. Mungo’s. Please, I’m begging you, spare the women of Hogwarts their favorite Gryffindor.” Sirius had dropped to his knees, and was clutching pathetically at the bottom of James’s robes.  
  
James rolled his eyes. “Get off of me!” he said, kicking at Sirius. “And I’m afraid their heartache is inevitable, Siri, now that their favorite Gryffindor is officially off the market.”  
  
Sirius’s face registered confusion. “What are you talking about? I’m not seeing anyone right now.”  
  
“You know as well as I do that it’s me, and not you, that’s Gryffidor’s most eligible bachelor,” James said, his smile widening. He wanted to shout out the good news and dance around the room, but he was having entirely too much fun giving Sirius a hard time.   
  
Sirius snorted. “Since when have you ever been eligible?” he asked. “Everyone knows that your heart belongs to Evans. And are you going to tell me what in the name of Merlin you’re talking about, or do I have to curse it out of you?”  
  
“I would, if you’d shut up for two seconds.” Sirius motioned for James to continue. “All right, then. Evans. Agreed. To. Go. Out. With. Me.” James said it slowly to keep from shouting and jumping around.  
  
James was not expecting Sirius’s reaction. “Nice try, Jamesy,” Sirius said, hanging the towel on a hook by his bed. “I suppose you expected me to congratulate you, and then I’d go downstairs and ask Evans about it and look like a fool. Good plan, but I’m far too smart for you, mate.”  
  
“No, really. She agreed. She really agreed!” James exclaimed. His whole face was smiling now, and he felt like he would burst with the excitement. “We’re meeting on the quidditch pitch tonight!” He faltered for a moment. “Of course, I told her it was to study astronomy—I claimed that I was falling behind in the class—but she’s agreed to help me!”  
  
Sirius grinned broadly. “Well, all right!” he said, high-fiving James. “All right!” He plopped down onto his bed. “So…what are you going to do tonight to make her forget that you manipulated her into agreeing to go out with you?”  
  
 _That’s a good question. What AM I going to do?_  
  
Don’t ask me. I haven’t thought that far ahead!  
  
This was YOUR bloody plan.  
  
Hey, I got her there. Now you have to woo her!  
  
James felt a wave of panic wash over him. “I’ve absolutely no idea,” he said, staring at Sirius, his heart racing, and his palms feeling sweaty with fear.  
  
Sirius’s bark-like laughter rang through the room. “Never fear,  Jamesy. We’ll help you plan a night for Evans that she will never forget!” 

  
  
_Bouncin_ _' around from cloud to cloud_  
I get the feeling like I'm never  gonna come down  
If I said I didn't like it then you know I lied

  
  
Sirius pulled a book from the nightstand beside his bed, and lay on his stomach, flipping through it. “We’ve just got to find some good romance charm—Hang on.”  
  
James gave Sirius a quizzical look. “What?” he asked.  
  
“It can’t be,” Sirius said, said, sitting up, and hauling the book up with him. “It can’t have been this that we’ve been missing. It’s too simple.”  
  
James stared at him, wondering what his best friend was talking about. “Just what are you on about, Siri?” he finally inquired, as Sirius didn’t seem to be explaining anything.  
  
“I’ve figured it out,” he said. “Why it hasn’t been working. Why we haven’t been able to properly transfigure ourselves yet.”  
  
“You mean…” James asked, his heart jumping.  
  
“Yes,” Siri responded. “That’s exactly what I mean. And tonight’s a full moon. We can join Moony tonight.”  
  
“Let me see!” James exclaimed, all thoughts of Lily for once fleeing completely from his mind at the prospect of their finally successfully becoming animagi. He sat down beside Sirius, and read through the description of the self-transfiguration. It didn’t look any different than what they’d been doing all along.   
  
“Thanks for getting me excited Sirius,” he said, tossing the book aside and shooting an angry glare at his friend. “We’ve already looked at this one. It didn’t work for us, remember?”  
  
“I know that,” Sirius said, “we didn’t do it right. Read through it again.”  
  
James read carefully through the description, and then looked up at Sirius, his eyes beginning to dance in excitement. “We weren’t facing east,” he said. “You have to be facing east the first time you do it, in order to summon your animal form.”   
  
“Exactly,” Sirius said. They stared at each other for a moment, and then both let out loud whoops of excitement.   
  
After they’d high-fived a few times, and celebrated for awhile, James looked at Sirius. “Let’s not tell Moony we’ve figured it out. I want to surprise him.”  
  
“Better not tell Petey about it either, then,” Sirius answered, nodding his head in agreement. “We’ll just show him before we get to the Whomping Willow to join Moony.”  
  
They spent the rest of the evening working out their plan for the night. Peter joined them after Remus had left for the Shrieking Shack, where he went to transform into a werewolf during the full moon, but they shooed him off to the common room so that he didn’t know what they were doing. When ten o’clock rolled around, they went downstairs to retrieve him, James’s invisibility cloak tied around his waist, under his robes. Now all they had to do was wait for the common room to empty out.  
  
Around 11:30, the last straggling Gryffindor went up to bed, and they were about to slip under the invisibility cloak, Peter whining loudly that he wanted to know what was going on, when the portrait hole swung open, and Lily crawled into the common room. She smiled when she saw James.  
  
“Ready for your astronomy tutoring session, Potter?” she inquired.   
  
_Uh-oh._ __  
  
I can’t believe you forgot!  
  
I can’t believe I forgot.  
  
Well done.  
  
Sod off.  
  
James hesitated for a moment, looking back and forth between his friends, and Lily. While Peter was completely oblivious to everything that was wrong with the current situation, it seemed to James that Sirius knew immediately what was going through James’s head.   
  
Sirius smiled winningly at Lily. “Evans!” he exclaimed. “How was prefect patrol tonight?”  
  
Lily sighed heavily. “Don’t ask. I was on by myself because  Remus got sick, and I had to break up a fight between two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw. I nearly got hit with a bat bogey hex, and…” She looked at Sirius suspiciously. “What are you three up to tonight, anyway?”  
  
James was still staring at her, unable to think of anything to say, and Sirius seemed to have decided to take over the situation.   
  
“Nothing, nothing at all Evans. I’m just sorry to hear that Remus was sick and that you had to deal with all of that by yourself. It sounds terrible. And now, if you’ll excuse us, I need to talk to Jamesy for just a moment.”   
  
James felt Sirius grab him by the cloak and pull him roughly away from Lily. Peter followed behind them.   
  
“What is it, Siri?” James asked, finally tearing his eyes from Lily.  
  
“Shh!” Sirius said, and then he pulled out his wand and performed a sound-proofing charm around the three boys. “I know what you’re thinking, James, but you have to come with us tonight. Moony's been waiting so long for this--just think of how surprised he'll be when we get there! Tell Evans you want to reschedule for tomorrow night. It’s only ONE night you have to wait.”  
  
 _He’s got a point._  
  
WHAT? No! No he doesn’t. She agreed to go out with you! She may never do that again.  
  
She didn’t agree to go out with me. She agreed to tutor me in astronomy.  
  
A tiny, insignificant little detail! You are NOT going to turn down the chance to be alone with Lily on the  quidditch pitch under a full moon.  
  
But to his surprise, that was exactly what he was going to do. They’d waited too long for this, and James wasn’t about to let his friends down. There was no reason he couldn’t just ask Evans to switch their ‘tutoring session’ to the next night. She wouldn’t care.  
  
“Siri, you and Petey take my invisibility cloak and wait out in the hallway for me. I just need a minute to talk to Evans by myself.” James untied his invisibility cloak, and handed it to Sirius.  
  
“But you are coming, right?” Sirius demanded. “You won’t change your mind?”   
  
“No, of course not! I wouldn’t miss this.”  
  
“Miss what?” Peter asked, clearly confused.   
  
“You’ll see, Petey. I’ll be right there, Siri. I promise.”  
  
Sirius nodded. “If you’re not out there in five minutes, I’m coming back for you.”  
  
“Fine, go.”  
  
James watched as Sirius and Peter slipped underneath the invisibility cloak. A few seconds later, the portrait hole swung open, and he was alone with Lily in the common room. He walked back over to where she was standing.  
  
“What was that about?” Lily asked, eyeing him suspiciously.  
  
“What was what about?” he asked innocently, standing a little bit closer to her than he ordinarily would. He was so close to her now that he could smell the light fragrance of her shampoo. It was intoxicating, and he felt his head start to spin.   
  
She smiled at him, and he realized with excitement that she wasn’t backing away. “Are you ready to go, then?”  
  
Her proximity was making him feel heady.   
  
_Or maybe I could wait to become an_ animagus.   
  
You might have thought of that before you made the promise to Sirius.   
  
But she smells so good!  
  
You PROMISED Sirius. You can’t break a promise to your best friend.  
  
“Yes, well, about that. I’m uh…I’m afraid that I can’t make it tonight, Evans,” James said, the regret in his voice sincere.  
  
“You can’t make it tonight?” she repeated, her brow furrowing in confusion. “Why not?”  
  
“Because Siri’s found something, and he really needs my help with it, so…”  
  
“‘Siri’s found something’?” She took a step backward and when she met his gaze again, he was slightly startled to see the anger burning in her eyes.   
  
_'_ Siri's found something'??? You couldn't have told her you were sick? You had to say 'Siri's found something'?  
  
Thanks. That's a lot of help NOW!  
  
“You know, Potter, you have some nerve! You’ve been asking me out for two years, and I finally agree, and now you’re blowing me off to go ‘help’ Black with something?”  
  
“Hang on, I didn't ask you out, I asked you to help me with astronomy!”   
  
Lily sighed. “Potter,” she said slowly, as if explaining something to a five year old. “You’re the top wizard in our year, next to Black. I know you don’t need help with Astronomy.”  
  
James ruffled his hair in confusion.   
  
_Lily knew I didn’t intend to study astronomy tonight?_  
  
Lily knew I didn’t intend to study astronomy tonight!  
  
A thrill ran over his body as he realized that Lily had actually agreed to go out with him, and not just to help him get caught up in a difficult class. “You knew that I didn’t really intend to study astronomy tonight?” he asked finally, certain that he must have misheard her.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Of course I knew! Just how thick do you think I am, Potter?” she asked. “Now, ARE you blowing me off for Sirius, or aren’t you?”   
  
_Is there any good way to answer this question?_  
  
Afraid not.  
  
Right. Always the optimist.  
  
Lily’s eyes were still shooting daggers at him, and he realized that the question was not just rhetorical. “I, er…I…”  
  
“You know what?” she snapped. “Never mind. I should have known. This so typical of you. Alice and Amelia wanted me to go out to the lake with them today, and instead, I spent my entire afternoon in the library, getting my homework finished so that I would have my evening free to spend with you, and now it looks like I wasted the entire day, because you’re just blowing me off anyway. But why should you care what I gave up for you? It doesn’t affect you right? And if it doesn’t affect James Potter, then it isn’t important, isn’t that right?”  
  
“That’s not true, Lily, I swear it’s not true. It’s just that I made a promise to Sirius earlier tonight, and completely forgot—”  
  
“Forgot? You forgot?” Lily asked, her voice increasing in volume with each syllable.   
  
She took a deep breath, as though calming herself, and took a step closer to him. James drew in his breath, caught up, in spite of himself, in her nearness. “Then you can just forget,” she continued, her eyes flashing, but her voice now dangerously calm, “about me ever saying yes to you again, James Potter.”  
  
She spun around abruptly, and stomped off up the stairs.  
  
 _Apparently, that was not the right thing to say._  
  
So it would seem.  
  


__  
Every time I try to talk to you  
I get tongue-tied  
Turns out, everything I say to you  
Comes out wrong, it never comes out right


	5. Year 6

**Sixth Year**

  
“Wait, did you remember to put the passage out of Gryffindor Tower that leads directly to the kitchens?” James asked, peering closely at the piece of parchment in front of him. The four Marauders were huddled around a table at the library, working intently on the final pieces of a project that they had been creating since their first year. During their time at Hogwarts, they had painstakingly searched out all of the hidden passages, secret chambers, mystery rooms and obscure tunnels within Hogwarts and on its grounds, and had spent the better part of six years recording that information onto a map to help aid them on future expeditions.   
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. “We put that one on ages ago, Prongs,” he said. “Try and keep up.”  
  
Peter laughed and clapped his hands together. “Yes, try and keep up!”  
  
James ignored Peter, and sat back, still contemplating the map. “I still think there’s something we’re missing. Do you have the passage to the Shrieking Shack.”  
  
“You didn’t seriously just ask that, did you?”  Remus asked dryly.   
  
“Yes, of course…,” James said, shrugging. “Well, I guess that’s it done, then. All that remains is charming it.”  
  
“Have you found a charm yet, Padfoot?” Remus asked.  
  
“No luck,” Sirius answered. “The charm we’re looking for is either so obscure that only Evans would know it, or it doesn’t exist.”  
  
“Did I just hear my name?” Lily’s voice asked from just behind James’s right shoulder. “What are you four up to?”  
  
All four boys jumped. “Nothing!” they denied simultaneously, erasing, James was certain, any chance that Lily would believe that they were, in fact, up to nothing. Sirius quickly began rolling up the parchment.   
  
“What are you doing here?” James asked, more defensive than he meant to be.  
  
 _Check that, this is the library. Of course Lily would be here. Why did WE_ decide to work on this here?  
  
Unless…  
  
James directed a winning smile at Lily, his brain working quickly.   
  
“I’m always here,” she answered, the severe look in her eyes softening slightly. “The better question is what the four of you are doing here? I haven’t known you to spend any quality time in the library since we finished our  O.W.L.s last year.” She gave the four boys a small smile.  
  
 _Excellent. Her defenses are down._  
  
Doesn’t it seem slightly wrong to you to take advantage of her by misleading her about your intentions?  
  
Oh sod off!  
  
“Funny you should ask, Evans,” James said, standing up, and taking the books from her arms. He set them on the table, and gestured for her to sit down. She did, and he returned to his own seat. Sirius,  Remus, and Peter all looked confused. “We’re working on a project, and we’ve run into a small snag. We were just saying that it’d be nice if you were here to help us—since it involves Charms, and I know how much you love the opportunity to practice your Charmwork—and now here you are. I think it must be fate.”  
  
James looked up at the other three Marauders, who were now staring at him as though he’d gone completely mad. “Weren’t we?” he added suggestively, hoping that they would cotton on, and agree with what he was saying.   
  
Remus and Sirius figured out what he was doing right away, but it took a sharp elbow to the stomach from Sirius to get Peter to catch up with them. Peter nodded a little too emphatically, and Lily cocked her head to the side slightly, assessing James.   
  
Her eyes met his, and he winked. She blushed, and looked quickly away, reminding James forcefully of the first time that he had seen her on the King’s Cross Platform five and a half years before. Everything that he had learned about her in the years that had passed had only fueled the love that he had felt for her since the first time his eyes had landed on her beautiful face, and strengthened his conviction that she was the girl for him.  
  
“Is that so, Potter?” she inquired, and her voice had a slightly husky quality to it that had the effect of causing James’s mind to wander.  
  
 _I’ll bet that’s what she sounds like after she’s been kissed properly._  
  
Can we focus, please?  
  
Absolutely. What would you like to focus on? What it would be like to kiss those beautiful lips? Or run my hands along her—  
  
Ahem! The map?  
  
Oh, right. The map. Killjoy.  
  
“That’s so,” he agreed, inclining his head slightly. “So what do you say, will you help us?”  
  
All four boys turned puppy-dog eyes to her, and she laughed. “All right,” she agreed. “I’ll help you. What do you need?”  
  
“Well, you see, we’ve created a map of Hogwarts, and—”  
  
James paused for a moment, thinking. There had to be another way to get Lily to help them. She was never going to believe that they were making the map to help teachers find students who were out after hours. She knew them too well after six years to believe that.   
  
_But maybe I could make Lily want to overlook the fact that I’m lying. She’s_ not the only one that’s good with Charms, is she? Am I a Potter, or aren’t I?  
  
You are.  
  
Then I might as well use it.  
  
“—and we want to charm it to show the location of all the occupants of the castle. You know, so that the teachers can use it to find students who are out after hours, or are somewhere that they shouldn’t be.”  
  
As he had known it would, the look she gave him told him in no uncertain terms that she didn’t believe a word that he’d just said. She folded her arms, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “You honestly expect me to believe, James Potter, that _you_ want to help teachers identify out of bounds students?”  
  
He widened his eyes and tried to look insulted, turning up the charm as only he could. “I’m hurt, Evans. Hurt, and appalled that—”  
  
“That I didn’t believe you, even for a fraction of a second?” she queried.  
  
“Exactly!” he said, hoping to throw off Lily’s defenses by giving her the honest answer that she was not expecting. “Because if you had believed me, then this map would have been the envy of marauding witches and wizards everywhere.” He sighed dramatically and flopped back in his chair. “Now, it will just be a map, destined to go down in Hogwarts history as a monumental waste of potential.”  
  
His efforts were rewarded by a spontaneous laugh from Lily, and she shook her head, her eyes dancing with amusement. “A bit like your own career at Hogwarts, you mean.”  
  
“A bit like that, yeah,” he said, looking sheepish. The girls always seemed to love the sheepish look, and Lily was no different. He could veritably _see_ her resolve melting.  
  
Remus, Sirius, and Peter were looking anxiously back and forth between Lily and James, none of them speaking for fear, James guessed, that they would throw off the chemistry that he was creating.  
  
“What makes you think that even _if_ I agreed to help you with this project, I would know the proper charm to use?”  
  
James’s grin widened. He couldn’t have scripted this conversation more perfectly if he had tried. “Because, Lily, if you don’t know the proper charm, it doesn’t exist.”  
  
 _Who says flattery will get you nowhere?_  
  
Someone who’s never seen the Potter charm in action, that’s who.  
  
Too right.   
  
Lily laughed again, and pretended to think it over. “Well,” she said finally, “since you put it that way, I can see that I have no choice.” Sirius,  Remus and Peter erupted in cheers, and Lily held up a hand to quiet them. “After all, I’d hate to be responsible for the biggest waste of potential in Hogwarts History since James Potter squandered away his talents on rule-breaking. Let me see the map.”  
  
Sirius unrolled the map, and she stared at it for a moment. “You’ve found all of these secret places without getting caught?” she asked, appearing to be almost in awe.  
  
“Yes,” Peter said, puffing his chest out proudly.  
  
Lily fixed James with a stern look, and he felt his chest tighten in fear that she would change her mind, but after a moment, he realized that her eyes were sparkling behind the sternness. “How?” she asked. “It can’t just have been your invisibility cloak. You four are too big for all of you to fit under it now.”  
  
“We’re just a great team, the four of us,” Sirius answered, beaming at his friends. “Unstoppable when we work together.”  
  
James gave Lily the grin that had won her over just a few minutes ago. “A bit like you and me, Lily. A great team. Or at least we would be, if you’d ever agree to go out with me.”  
  
Lily looked away from him quickly. “Just be happy that I’ve agreed to help you with your map, Potter,” she answered.  
  
“Oh, come on Evans! I’ll flip you for it. Heads, you go out with me. Tails, I flip again. What do you say?”  
  
“Potter, if you ask me again, I’m walking away and not even helping you.”  
  
James grinned at her. “All right, then. I guess I’ll have to stop for right now. But don’t expect me to give up on you.”  
  
“I could never get that lucky, Potter.”  
  
He smiled slightly. “So, what do we need to do?”  
  
Lily’s eyes lit up, and she launched into an explanation of how to perform the correct charm.   
  


  
_So l say why don't you and I get together_  
We’ll take on the world, be together forever  
Heads we will and tails we'll try again  
So I say why don't you and I hold each other?  
Fly to the moon and straight onto heaven.  
Cause without you they're never  gonna let me in

  
  
“When are you going to get over her, Prongs?” Sirius asked James. The Marauders were lounging by the lake, James laying on his back on a blanket, hands tucked behind his head, and one leg crossed across his knee. Sirius was laying on his side beside James, one hand supporting his head, the other contemplating his wand, which he was twirling in his fingers. Remus was leaning against the nearby tree, an open book forgotten beside him. Peter was sitting cross-legged on the grass beside the blanket, pulling blades randomly out of the ground. They were passing the time by alternately talking about their next big adventure—which was coming up next week—and Lily Evans.   
  
More precisely, Remus, Peter, and Sirius were trying to plan out their next big adventure, while James kept steering the conversation back to Lily. They’d had a blazing row in the common room earlier that day, and James was still trying to figure out what, exactly, had gone wrong.  
  
James sighed and hauled himself to his feet. “I _am_ over her,” he said, pacing a little and mussing his hair with his hands. “At least, I need to be, don’t I? She certainly doesn’t see me as anything other than dragon dung marring her brand new shoes.”  
  
“That’s not true, Prongs,”  Remus disagreed.  
  
“Really?” James asked, perking up a bit.   
  
“Absolutely,” Sirius agreed. “You’re actually the fly buzzing around the dung that’s marred her shoes.”  
  
Remus shot Sirius a disapproving gaze, and Sirius shrugged. “What, Moony? Isn’t it better for him to hear the truth from us?”  
  
In answer, Remus shook his head mildly, and went back to his book.  
  
James groaned and threw himself back onto the ground. “Okay, that’s it! I’m done with her. I mean it. It’s over.”  
  
“That’s the spirit,” Peter said excitedly, clapping his hands together. “I know just the person for you, now that you’re over Lily. You should ask Bertha Jorkins out.”  
  
Sirius’s expression darkened at the name and he reached over and smacked Peter on the head. “Wormtail, you’re an idiot. What makes you think that Prongs would want to go out with Blabbermouth Bertha? Besides, he isn’t really over Evans, anyway, he just wants to be.”  
  
“Oh,” Peter said, flushing, and breaking off another blade of grass to inspect it.   
  
James glared at Sirius. “Sod off, Padfoot,” James said moodily. “I told you I’m over her, didn’t I? I think maybe I _will_ ask Bertha out.”  
  
Sirius nodded. “You did say you’re over her,” he agreed, arranging his expression into one of hurt. “I can’t believe you just lied to us, Prongs. What have we ever done to deserve anything other than your total and complete honesty? You _know_ you’re not over Evans, and the least you could do is admit it to us, so we can help you with your problem.” Sirius’s eyes were dancing mischievously, and James couldn’t help but feel that his best friend was enjoying his broken heart just a little bit too much.  
  
“I’m warning you,  Padfoot.”  
  
“You’re warning me?”  
  
“Yes, I’m warning you.”  
  
“And what are you going to do about it?”  
  
James didn’t respond, he simply launched himself at Sirius, knocking him to the ground. Sirius pushed James off of him, and grabbed James by the leg, who went sprawling onto his back. James kicked out, and knocked Sirius’s hands out from under him so that Sirius fell face first into the grass. Taking advantage of Sirius’s lack-of-balance, James put him into a headlock, and Sirius was struggling to get out of it when Alice Parker, Amelia Bones, and Lily Evans came walking by. Sirius instantly stopped struggling, and James grinned goofily at the girls.  
  
“Hiya ladies,” he said, releasing Sirius from the headlock, and standing up, brushing off his robes. “Evans,” he added. “Want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”   
  
_How many times do I have to say this to you? First name. FIRST name!_  
  
Now is NOT the time to lecture.  
  
Lily’s eyes narrowed. “What do I have to do to get you to stop asking me, Potter?” she asked.   
  
James grinned. “Say yes,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “You know you want to! You’ve said yes to me once before.”   
  
“That was a serious judgment lapse,” Lily answered, clenching her teeth together, a light pink tingeing her cheeks. “I won’t make that mistake again.”   
  
“Oh come on, there must be something I can do! What will it take to get you to say yes again? Tell me what it is, and I’ll do it. Just name your terms.”  
  
“There is nothing you can do that will change my mind. Let me put it into small words that you can understand, Potter. I. Am. Never. Going. To. Go. Out. With. You.”   
  
Lily’s eyes were flashing furiously, and James couldn’t help but think that she looked even more gorgeous when she was angry. He smiled. “You’re beautiful when you’re angry,” he told her.  
  
 _Nice line!_  
  
Thanks.  
  
“You’re impossible!” she exclaimed.   
  
“Impossible to resist, you mean,” James agreed, winking.  
  
 _Now THAT’S the legendary Potter charm._  
  
Too right. How can she resist me now?  
  
Alice and Amelia were watching Lily in what James would have sworn was amusement before they turned their attention back to the boys.  
  
“Potter,” Alice said, tipping her head. “Black. Pettigrew.  Lupin.”  
  
“Potter. Black. Pettigrew,” Amelia echoed. “Remus,” she added, blushing and looking away quickly.  
  
“Are you coming to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday, Amelia?” Remus asked, his face nearly as red as Amelia’s. She bobbed her head up and down in agreement.  
  
“See how easy it is, Evans?” James asked lazily. “All you have to do is say yes. Or bob your head up and down.”  
  
“It isn’t going to happen, Potter. Stop asking me.”  
  
James contemplated Lily for a moment, and then he grinned. “You really want me to stop asking you?” he asked carefully.  
  
“Yes,” she agreed, visibly relieved. “That’s exactly what I want, Potter. Why has it taken you three years to figure it out?”  
  
“I’m stubborn,” he answered. “But if you don’t want me to ask you out again, I won’t. So long as you realize that you’ve just made things infinitely harder on yourself.” His eyes were twinkling now, and he felt slightly guilty in his delight at her annoyance.  
  
“How will you leaving me alone make things harder on me, exactly?” she asked, looking genuinely confused, and for the first time, James wondered for a moment—just for a moment—if Lily really did hate him as much as she pretended to hate him.   
  
“Because if I don’t ask you out anymore, it means that when you’re finally ready to admit that you’re hopelessly in love with me—as we all know that you are—you’ll have to be the one to ask me out. First you’ll have to apologize, of course, for being so mean to me. And I still may not accept right away. What will you do then?”  
  
“I’ll risk it, Potter, since there is absolutely no chance that I’m EVER going to change my mind.”   
  
“You will,” he said confidently. “It’s only a matter of time before you succumb to the Potter charm, Evans. It’s legendary. And I’ll be waiting for your apology when you do.”  
  
 _Are you sure she’ll apologize?_  
  
Of course I’m sure. Kind of.   
  
KIND OF??? You just hung your entire future on ‘KIND OF’?  
  
No…no, I’m sure. Mostly.  
  
MOSTLY??  
  
Can we stop now?  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Goodbye, Potter,” she said stiffly, “ Remus, Black, Peter.” She set off in the direction of the groundskeeper’s hut. Alice and Amelia quickly said goodbye to the Marauders, and hurried to catch up with her.   
  
James watched her for a moment, admiring the way Lily’s hair glinted in the sunlight, and the way her robes swirled about her hips as she walked, accentuating every curve. He rubbed his hands roughly through his hair.  
  
 _I’ve never in my life wanted so badly to be a robe._  
  
You’ve wanted to be a robe before?  
  
Every time I look at Lily.  
  
Maybe  Padfoot can transfigure you.  
  
“Oh, who am I kidding?” James asked once Lily was out of ear-shot. He picked up a stick and threw it as hard as he could toward the water. “I’m still completely smitten.” Sirius, Remus, and Peter patted him on his back and nodded in agreement.

 

  
_Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end  
Right about the same time you walk by  
And I say” Oh, here we go again! Oh!”_


	6. Seventh Year

**Seventh Year**

  
James paused outside the door to the head boy and girl carriage, and peeked in the window. Lily was already in there, a piece of parchment hovering just above her lap, with a quill floating slightly above it. She was leaning against the window, one ankle tucked under her knee, obviously deep in thought. She was curling a strand of her hair around the index finger of one hand. Every so often, she would open her mouth and say something, and the quill would be sent flying across the parchment. James almost regretted going in and interrupting her solitude. She looked so beautiful, sitting there, working away—completely in her element. The sunlight from the windows played delicately across her shoulders and hair, glinting softly off of the milky white of Lily’s skin, and setting her hair on fire. He watched her for a moment longer before reluctantly tapping the doorknob with his wand and saying the password to open the door.   
  
She lifted her head and smiled briefly, before the look on her face changed from one of welcome to one of puzzlement. “What are you doing in here, Potter? This carriage is for the Head Girl and Head Boy only.”  
  
James paused in the door and looked bemusedly at Lily. “Then I’ve found the right place,” he said, pushing his trunk through the door, and settling it onto the seat, a little surprised that she was unaware of his status as Head Boy. The first thing he’d done after he’d gotten his badge was to owl Professor Dumbledore and ask him who his partner in crime—crime defense, that is. He was Head Boy now, after all—was going to be. He was pretty certain that he hadn’t stopped grinning since he’d received the owl back from Dumbledore that the Head Girl was none other than the woman of his dreams.   
  
Lily blinked at him, her confusion evident in her eyes. “You aren’t…but you can’t be! You weren’t even a—”  
  
“A prefect?” James asked, shrugging. “Yeah, I know it’s odd, but apparently you don’t have to be a prefect in order to be a head boy.”  
  
“But why—why you?”  
  
James shrugged again and dropped into the seat across from Lily. “Apparently, old McGonagall thinks that I have exhibited tremendous personal growth, and impressive ‘leadership qualities’ over the past year. Or so Dumbledore told my mum when she  owled him to make sure there hadn’t been a mistake.”  
  
Lily giggled slightly. “Even your mum didn’t believe it, huh?”  
  
“Nope. And let me tell you, _that’s_ good for the confidence, isn’t it?” James’s cheeks burned slightly at the memory. So notorious were his antics at school that even his own mum had doubted that he actually deserved the honor. He couldn’t decide if he was proud or ashamed of this fact. Probably a bit of both, actually.   
  
“I hardly think that you’d need any help with your confidence, Potter.”  
  
 _You’d be surprised.  
  
She wouldn’t if you’d show her._  
  
James reached into his trunk and pulled out the paperwork that had arrived with the head boy badge. “So, have you had a chance to go through all of this?” he asked, hoping to change the subject. He lifted his eyes to meet Lily’s, and nearly laughed out loud. The look that she was giving him told him no uncertain terms that not only had she read it, but she had also prepared a speech to give to the prefects when they went to speak with them momentarily.   
  
“So…that’s a yes then?” he said, ruffling his hand through his hair.  
  
“Yes,” she answered, “and I’ve put together on note cards a few points that we need to go over with the newer prefects. I’ve organized them into—” James couldn’t stifle the laughter that bubbled up at this revelation. “And just _what_ is so funny, Potter?” Lily huffed indignantly.  
  
Lily’s indignation only served to make him laugh harder, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. “You,” he said finally. “That,” he added. Lily watched him, a dangerous glint in her eye.   
  
He took several deep breaths, trying to control the laughter. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry, it’s just that…well, I knew you’d be prepared, but I never expected you to actually have… notecards!” He dissolved into laughter again, and Lily huffed loudly.  
  
“Yes, Potter. Unlike you, I take this responsibility very seriously, and I want the prefects to respect our authority, so I thought—,”  
  
James wiped at the tears in his eyes and held up a hand. “Yes, Evans. Yes. I get it. I understand. I just…I. You know what? Never mind. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you, okay? Do you want to tell me what you have prepared, then?”  
  
She looked at him suspiciously for a long moment. “All right,” she said. “All right. But if you laugh at me again, I’m going in there without telling you another word, and you’ll be left to look like an idiot.”  
  
“I don’t need your help to look like an idiot, Evans,” he said self-deprecatingly, “but it just so happens that I’ve also made notes on what I think is important.” Lily stared at him in disbelief for a moment. “I know, hard to believe, but it’s true. I’m taking this seriously. I want to compare what you’ve got to what I’ve got, okay? Let’s see them.”  
  
Lily nodded, the look of disbelief not completely gone from her eyes. She leaned over to pull the notecards out of her bag, and as she did so, James couldn’t help but notice the way that her robes fell forward slightly, revealing an enticing glimpse of the soft swell of her breasts.   
  
_Don’t let her catch you staring.  
  
But…  
  
Don’t be an idiot. Look at her eyes. Her EYES!  
  
But I already know what her eyes look like!_  
  
“Potter!” Lily’s accusing voice interrupted him. He lifted his eyes guiltily to meet her gaze, and she waved the note cards at him. “If you’re done staring down my robes, you can have a look at these.”  
  
 _But I wasn’t done!  
  
I think she’s telling you that you are._  
  
“Right… er, sorry. I just thought you’d spilled something on your…er…just there.” He motioned vaguely at her collar, then grabbed the cards from her and quickly shuffled through them, too flustered to read a word that was written on them.   
  
“So, what do you think?” Lily asked after a moment. “If you’ve been able to keep your mind off of my breasts long enough to read them, that is,” she added scathingly.  
  
He chose to ignore her last statement and took a deep breath, trying to compose his thoughts. “They look good, Evans,” he said, and then realizing how that sounded and, horrified, trying to recover, added, “The notecards, I mean, not your breasts.” She raised an eyebrow at him, and he flushed.   
  
_Shut up now, while you still have a chance to hold on to at least some modicum of dignity._  
  
“Not that they aren’t lovely, because they are, but—”   
  
_That’s it. Say hello to eternal bachelorhood._  
  
James broke off, and looked around the compartment, trying desperately to think of something clever to say. Her soft laughter met his ears, and when he had finally recovered from his embarrassment enough to meet her gaze, he was amazed to find that far from being irritated with him, she seemed to be finding the situation incredibly amusing, and it was his turn to wonder what in the world was so funny.   
  
“What?” he asked. “What are you laughing about?”  
  
“You,” she said, echoing his answer to her earlier. “That. Just…I’ve never seen you so flustered before, Potter. I didn’t think it was possible. I’m sorry. I guess I was just surprised, that’s all.”  
  
He stared at her for a moment, before grinning again. “There’s a lot of things about me that would surprise you, Lily,” he said softly, “if you’d just give me a chance to show you.”  
  
Lily looked away from him quickly, and James could tell that it was now she who was trying frantically to come up with something clever. “Are you absolutely CERTAIN you didn’t steal that badge from  Remus?” she asked finally, clearly trying to put their conversation back into her comfort zone, but she was unable to hide from James the slight huskiness in her voice.  
  
“As much as I hate to disappoint you, Evans, this badge belongs to me, and only me.” James said, reaching out and patting her comfortingly on the hand. “You’d better get used to the idea. Like it or not, we’ll be spending a lot of time together over the next year.”

  
  
_Every time I try to talk to you  
I get tongue-tied  
Turns out, everything I say to you  
Comes out wrong, it never comes out right_

  
  
“Oh, go on Evans…Let me help you in Transfiguration! What are you so afraid of?” James asked, plopping down across from Lily at the table that she had picked out.   
  
“Afraid?” she asked, and when her eyes met his, they were startled. “I’m not afraid of anything,” she said, reaching down and pulling her Transfiguration book roughly out of her backpack. “I’m a Gryffindor, aren’t I?”  
  
James watched her for a moment. He knew how to handle Lily when she was relaxed and laughing, for he often saw her that way around her friends, and had even been lucky enough to experience that side of her from time to time himself, and he knew how to handle Lily when she was angry and shouting, for he’d been handling her in that mood more often than not for the last six years and counting. The common denominator, no matter which temper she was in at the moment, was that she was always honest. He could count on that, and respond accordingly. It was one of the things that he loved about her—one of the many things that he loved about her.  
  
At the moment, however, she was jumpy, and nervous, and very definitely hiding something. That much he knew. What she was hiding—and whether or not it was anything to worry about—remained a mystery. Lily had never been any good at lying, and although she’d gotten far better at it in the years since he’d known her—out of necessity more than out of desire—she could not lie to him. It was one of the things that he knew frustrated her about him—one of the many things that he knew frustrated her about him. Not that it was unusual for Lily to not tell him what was on her mind. It was just that usually when she didn’t want to discuss a topic with him, she would say “Leave it, Potter. I don’t want to talk about it.” Honest and truthful. Not, “Nothing, Potter,” when so clearly something was.  
  
 _Does it ever scare you how well you know her?  
  
The only thing that scares me is that she may never realize it._  
  
Lily dropped her Transfiguration book on the table, and glared at him. “WHAT are you staring at? Do I have a piece of lettuce caught in my teeth or something?”  
  
James nearly laughed out loud. “No,” he said, wondering if he should tell her the truth about what he’d been thinking. “Nothing like that.”  
  
“Well, then?” she demanded. “What had you so lost in thought?”  
  
“You did,” he said, gazing into her eyes.   
  
_Nice.  
  
Thank you._  
  
Lily’s hand jerked sporadically at his words, sending the Transfiguration book crashing to the ground. She tore her eyes away from his and reached down to pick up the book, as James watched her, his mind wandering in spite of his best efforts to keep it in check. Lily’s hair fell softly over her shoulder, revealing the creamy white skin on the nape of her neck. Her robes clung softly to her back, and hips, accentuating every curve. As he had so many times before, James found himself thinking about kissing the nape of her neck while he slid his hands from her shoulders, down her back, to—  
  
“James!” Lily’s voice interrupted him, and he reluctantly pulled himself away from the fantasy Lily to address the real—but infinitely less entertaining at the moment—Lily standing in front of him. She had stood back up, and was now looking inquisitively at him, hands on her hips, flushing. “You’re staring again.”  
  
Something in her eyes gave James pause, and he had a sudden sneaking suspicion that he knew what this was about, and he couldn’t restrain the smile that crept across his features. “Are you going to tell me you mind?” he couldn’t quite stop himself from asking.  
  
 _Careful.  
  
I know! Give me some credit, please?_  
  
Lily dropped the quill that she was holding. “What the…what are…” She took a deep breath, as though trying to compose herself. “Just what are you insinuating Potter?” she asked calmly, waving her wand to summon the quill. In her agitation, however, she over-emphasized the swish, sending the quill careening down the table and knocking it into the inkwell on the edge, which went flying, spilling ink all over Lily’s robes, before it shattered on the ground.  
  
“Bloody hell,” Lily said, pointing her wand at the ink well on the floor.  
  
“Here, let me get that for you. You’re going to hurt someone in the state that you’re in,” he said, pulling out his wand and muttering " _Reparo_ ". The inkwell flew back together. With another wave of his wand the ink stain disappeared from her robes. “There, that’s better, isn’t it,” he said. He reached out and took Lily’s hand, intending to guide her to sit down.  
  
She pulled it sharply away from him. “Stop it,” she said, her lips pursed tightly together.  
  
“Stop what?” he asked, trying desperately not to laugh.  
  
“Stop—doing that!” she said, sitting down in her chair. She flipped open the book and paged through it feverishly. “You know, trying to charm me, and…and that! It won’t work, okay?”  
  
“Lily,” James said tenderly, reaching out his hand, and setting it firmly on top of hers, stopping the page flipping. She looked at his hand covering hers with an almost panicked expression, and her breathing quickened ever so slightly. James looked down at their hands and began to rub his thumb softly across the back of her hand, astounded to realize that her skin was even softer than he had imagined it to be. He tore his gaze from the startling sight of their intertwined hands and saw her quickly look away from him, pulling her hand from his as she did.   
  
He forced his now empty hand to move and closed the book softly. “It’s an old book. You’ve already dropped it once. Keep paging through it like that, and you’re going to reduce it to dust. You need to be gentle with it. Now, do you want my help in Transfiguration or don’t you?”  
  
“I don’t,” she said stiffly, refusing to meet his gaze.  
  
 _Because you’re afraid of being alone with me?_ he thought. Or at least, he thought he’d thought it. The horrified gaze that Lily was now giving him told him otherwise. Her eyes were clouding up more quickly than a crystal ball did when he looked at it, and that was saying something  
  
“You don’t have to be afraid to be alone with me. We would just be studying Transfiguration. I swear I won’t hurt you,” he added, trying to force a light tone into his voice in order to make it seem as though they were still just talking about the possibility of his becoming her tutor, but they both knew he meant more than that.  
  
Lily stared at him for a long moment, as though trying to decide whether or not to tell him the truth. Apparently she decided against it, because the words that she spoke next were not the ones that James was hoping to hear.  
  
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about James Potter!” she said, summoning all of her supplies and directing them into her bag. “Why would I be afraid of you hurting me?” She stormed through the portrait hole and out of the common room before James could stop her.  
  
 _There are so many other endings to this conversation that I would have preferred.  
  
At least she’s aware of her feelings now. She’ll come around eventually, won’t she?   
  
Honestly? I’m beginning to wonder.  
  
_

_  
So l say why don't you and I get together  
We’ll take on the world, be together forever  
Heads we will and tails we'll try again_

  
  
“It’s not as simple as all that,  Padfoot!” James said angrily, flopping onto his bed, and rubbing his hands roughly through his hair before sitting up to look at his best friend. “I promised her that I wouldn’t ask her out again. If she wants to go out with me, she’ll have to ask. I do have some pride, you know!”  
  
“You’re acting like an idiot, Prongs,” Sirius countered, shaking his head. “You chased her around like a puppy dog for six years. What’s one more time?”  
  
“No,” James responded stubbornly. “I’m done asking her. If she wants to go out with me, she’ll have to set her pride aside and ask me.”  
  
“Do you know what, Prongs?” Sirius asked, standing up and pacing in a way that reminded James forcefully of Sirius’s gait in his animagus form. “I can’t stand this any longer. BOTH of you—BOTH of you are miserable, and not only do I get to hear about it from you, I get Alice complaining to me to get you to do something, because all the Princesses ever hear from Lily is how she’s missed her chance with you, and that she was an idiot not to say yes when you asked before.”  
  
“At least she realizes she was an idiot,” James said, his heart leaping at his friend’s words.  
  
 _You’d better not say that to her.  
  
I know that! What do you think I am, an idiot?  
  
Do you really want me to answer that?_  
  
Sirius stopped pacing long enough to shoot him a look of consternation. “You’d better not say that to her,” Sirius said, echoing James’s thoughts.   
  
“I know that!” James said petulantly.  
  
“If you start talking to her like that again, you’ll set us back at least a couple of months,” Sirius continued, ignoring James.  
  
“I said I—” James stopped and stared at his best friend for a moment. “Hang on, what do you mean, set ‘us’ back a couple of months? It’s not like you’ve been working to bring the two of us together. Have you?”   
  
James looked closely at Sirius, but Sirius turned away without answering.  
  
 _Well, that’s certainly news._  
  
“ Padfoot—you haven’t been, have you?”  
  
When Sirius turned to face James again, he was grinning, and his eyes were sparkling with the mischief that James knew all too well. “I might have been conspiring with the princesses from time to time, mate. You know, to make sure you and Lily ended up alone together at the library. Or to make sure everyone emptied out of the common room to give you two plenty of time to discuss your feelings. But NEITHER of you are doing anything and neither of you are even willing to _consider_ doing anything and I’m not going to sit here, and watch you throw away your chance with Evans just because you’re too stubborn. Give me your wand.”  
  
“What?” James asked, his hand reaching automatically for the wand that was sitting beside his bed. “What do you want with my wand?”  
  
“Trust me, Prongs.”  
  
James raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Trust you?”  
  
Sirius sighed. “Yes, trust me. Have I ever done anything to betray you before?”  
  
“Not to my knowledge,” James answered.  
  
“Then let me have it.”   
  
“Tell me what you’ve got planned.”  
  
“Don’t make me stun you, Prongs,” Sirius said, reaching for his wand. “Come on. I promise you’ll thank me when it’s over. Do you want to be with Evans or don’t you?”  
  
James sighed heavily. That was logic he could not argue with. He handed his wand over. “Keep in mind that if you break it, I will have to kill you.”  
  
“Got it…break Prongs’ wand, die,” Sirius said. “Now, follow me,” and he set off toward the door. “Oops!” he said, pretending to catch the wand on the nearest desk and break it.   
  
“ Haha, very funny Padfoot,” James responded, rolling his eyes as Sirius bounded out the door.   
  
“Hey, wait up!” James called out, hurrying quickly after Sirius. When he reached the common room, he found Sirius apologizing profusely to Lily, who was on the floor, looking murderous. Alice and Amelia were alternately attempting to help Lily to her feet, and telling Sirius off.  
  
“Sirius Black! Just what do you think you’re doing, hitting Lily with _expelliarmus_ when she’s not even looking?” Alice howled at Sirius. To the untrained eye, Sirius looked thoroughly sheepish, but James knew the look he was giving Alice all too well. Alice was also in on this, whatever it was.  
  
“I’m sorry, Alice, but I had to get her wand from her, and she’d never have let me have it willingly.”  
  
“You might have at least asked before you disarmed her, Sirius!” Amelia berated him. James watched Sirius once again. He gave the same look to Amelia that he’d given Alice, telling James in no uncertain terms that Amelia was involved as well. James lifted his eyes and scanned the common room, and saw both  Remus and Peter sitting nearby, Remus and Frank watching Sirius with identical “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this” expressions, and Peter laughing so hard that James was concerned for a moment that he really would hurt himself. So everyone was in on this but he and Lily. Interesting. James hadn’t had the slightest idea that Sirius had been keeping anything at all from him, and he wondered suddenly how long his old friend had been planning this little…whatever it was.  
  
By the time James’s gaze landed back on Lily, she was now on her feet. Lily brushed off her robes, and then her flashing eyes met James’s. He shrugged slightly, and tried to smile, but she narrowed her eyes and came striding angrily over to where he was standing.   
  
_Uh-oh. This is not good._  
  
“You! What is this all about? And don’t try to pretend you don’t know, James Potter, because if Sirius is up to something, you most certainly know what it is!”  
  
 _Why does she always think I’m involved in these things?  
  
Because you usually are.  
  
Oh. Right._  
  
“Stop right there, Evans,” James said, and she stopped short a few feet in front of him. “Thank you. If you’ll calm down long enough to actually look at  Siri, you’d realize that he’s got my wand, as well. He disarmed me upstairs, and I only just got down here myself.”  
  
Lily turned angrily back to Sirius. “I will give you detention for this, Black,” she seethed. “Now, give me back my wand!”  
  
Sirius’s bark-like laugh echoed through the room. “You’re kidding, right Evans? I’d have to be a total idiot to re-arm you with your wand when your eyes are flashing like that. No. Even if I wasn’t planning something, there’s _no way_ I’d give you your wand back without being able to  apparate to the coast as soon as you got it. Now…both of you just calm down. I promise that there is a very good reason for my behavior today, and if either of you still want to hex me into next week after I’m through, by all means… I’ll even teach you a few hexes my mum used to use, okay?”  
  
Lily and James exchanged skeptic glances, and James could tell that Lily was startled that she was, for once, on the same side as James in a skirmish with Sirius. He had to admit that it was new territory for him, as well. Usually Lily’s accusations about his knowledge of Sirius’s pranks were spot-on. The current situation was in fact quite unfamiliar to him. “All right,” he said, hearing Lily’s assent echo in unison with his.  
  
“Well…let’s hear it, then,” Lily said.  
  
 _Padfoot_ _…you’d better know what you’re doing, buddy. I’ll never forgive you if you mess this up for me.  
  
If HE messes this up for you? Haven’t you spent the last seven years messing it up for yourself?  
  
Shut up!_  
  
All of Gryffindor had now stopped what they were doing and turned to watch Sirius, who was, if James wasn’t mistaken, enjoying the attention tremendously. Alice and Amelia were now giggling slightly. Lily looked extremely uncomfortable, and James was sure if he’d been looking into a mirror, he would have seen confusion registering upon his own face. He had no idea what Sirius had planned, and he wasn’t at all certain that he was going to like it.  
  
 _But if it brings you and Lily together?  
  
I’ll name him godfather to our first child.  
  
_

_  
So I say why don't you and I hold each other?  
Fly to the moon and straight onto heaven.  
Cause without you they're never  gonna let me in_

  
  
Sirius hopped up onto a chair and held up Lily’s wand. “Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the wand of Lily Elizabeth Evans.” There was a chorus of oohs and aahs in the crowd, and a smattering of light applause. Sirius bowed slightly. “Thank you. Thank you very much.” He then used the wand to painstakingly draw the smoke outline of a stick-figure girl in the air.  
  
Lily glanced at Sirius skeptically, and he grinned. “Sorry. Remmy’s the artist. Stick-figures are as complicated as I get. And now, I present to you the wand of James Ryan Potter.” Sirius now held up James’s wand, and slowly drew the outline of a stick-figure boy in the air. As before, the crowd ooh’d and aah’d appreciatively, and Sirius stood back to eye his stick-figure creation speculatively. “It’s missing something,” he said, contemplating the stick figure.   
  
James shifted his weight. “Can we get on with it, Siri?” he asked.  
  
Sirius shot James a disapproving look. “One cannot rush art, old friend,” Sirius said sagely. “Ah, yes…I know what it is.” He used James’s wand to add a few lines to the head of the stick figure, giving it the appearance of hair that was stuck on end.   
  
The crowd standing around all clapped, and Lily looked at James, nodding her head in agreement. James shot Lily a look of disbelief.   
  
“What?” she asked innocently. “That hair has annoyed me for the last six years, James. It’s just not you without it.”  
  
James grinned. How could he argue with that?  
  
Sirius looked at stick-figure Lily and stick-figure James for a moment longer, and then nodded. “There. Now…,” Sirius waved James’s wand, and the boy stick figure rubbed his hand through his “hair”. “Lily, my love?” Sirius said in a decent imitation of James’s voice.   
  
He then brandished Lily’s wand, and the girl stick figure cocked her “head” to the side inquisitively. “Yes James, what is it? I’m really very busy, and…” Sirius began in a high-pitched tone that James guessed was supposed to mimic Lily’s. The crowd standing around them laughed appreciatively.  
  
He flicked James’s wand again, and the boy stick figure held up a finger to the girl stick figure’s “lips”. “Just give me a minute, okay? I wanted to tell you that I know I’ve been an arrogant, bullying prat, and I’m sorry.”  
  
 _Kill me now._  
  
But when James’s gaze fell on Lily, he felt his breath catch in his throat. She wasn't angry at all. In fact, she was blushing furiously, but that wasn’t what caught his attention. She was watching him with a tenderness in her eyes that he had only ever glimpsed in her most unguarded moments.  
  
“You’re sorry?” stick figure Lily said. James felt like he should be watching the rest of the puppet show, but he was completely incapable of tearing his eyes away from Lily.   
  
He nodded at the puppet’s question as stick figure James replied, “Yes. I didn’t do it to hurt you. I just didn’t know how else to get your attention.”  
  
James thought he saw tears shimmering in Lily’s eyes. “I know,” she mouthed.   
  
“I forgive you, James,” James heard stick figure Lily saying somewhere in the distance. “Will you go to  Hogsmeade with me?”   
  
James nodded as though it had really been Lily asking the question, and his stomach did a flip-flop as her eyes lit up in delight and she finally, after six long years of disapproving looks and disgust, directed toward him the smile for which James had been waiting so long.  
  
“And that, ladies and gentleman,” Sirius said, returning to his normal voice, and James finally took his gaze away from Lily to watch his best friend, “is how you bring together two of the most stubborn Gryffindors ever to attend Hogwarts. And if the two of you are still not convinced that you’re meant to be together,” Sirius again held up Lily’s wand in his left hand and James’s in his right. He then brought the two tips together in a “kiss” and sparks lit up the common room like he had just set off fireworks. “That should convince you.”  
  
Applause echoed through the room—led by the Marauders and the Princesses—as Sirius hopped down from the chair and took Lily’s hand and placed it in James’s. “Now. What is everyone looking at? Go on! Get upstairs! Go to the library! Go! Get out of here! Our head boy and girl need a moment.”   
  
Sirius, Remus, Peter, Alice and Amelia all began walking around the common room, shooing the Gryffindors out. The younger Gryffindors all scampered to comply, but some of the older students grumbled about leaving, to which James’s and Lily’s friends used threats ranging from detention to permanent transfiguration to get them to leave. At last, only the Marauders and the Princesses remained.   
  
James felt completely giddy. Lily had not pulled his hand from hers during the entire time that their friends were clearing the room, and she had not taken her eyes from his face since Sirius had placed her hand in his. James had a vague notion that he should stop smiling like an idiot and say something—the idea of leaving the common room to be alone even occurred to him—but every time that he tried, he found he couldn’t speak, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to, in any case. If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up, and if Lily’s presence beside him right now was some sort of miracle charm that Sirius had uncovered, he didn’t want the sound of his voice to break the spell and end the moment, so he simply contented himself with looking at her, reveling in her nearness, drinking in her scent.  
  
He and Lily both jumped slightly as Sirius placed one hand on each of their shoulders. He was grinning at them both, eyes sparkling, and James thought that if it didn’t mean letting go of Lily’s hand, he would have hugged his best friend. Sirius had just given him the best gift that he had ever received.  
  
“All right, then,” Sirius said, looking at each of them closely before reaching up and grabbing their wands from where they were sitting, tucked behind either ear. “I think you can be trusted with these again.” He handed them each their wands back.   
  
“Padfoot,” James said, tucking his wand into his robes.   
  
“No need to thank me, Prongs,” Sirius said. “I did it for the sake of the school. I told you once before that the women of Hogwarts would not be able to handle me being carted off to Saint Mungo’s, and it was only a matter of time before the two of you drove me insane. I had to do something.”  
  
Lily’s laughter tickled James’s ears, and although he would not have thought it possible, James’s grin widened. “Well?” he asked.  
  
Sirius looked confused for a moment. “Well, what?” he asked.  
  
James nodded toward the staircase, and a look of comprehension dawned across Sirius’s features. “Right,” he agreed, surveying the two of them skeptically. After a moment, he nodded. “I trust that you two can handle things from here on out, so we’ll just leave you to it, then. I’ll be upstairs in our room if either of you decides you still want to curse me.” The remaining Marauders and Princesses all hurried out of the common room, and up the staircase to the boys dorm.  
  
“So,” Lily said, glancing shyly at James.  
  
“So,” James said.  
  
 _You’ve been dreaming of this moment for over six years, and all you’ve got is “so”?  
  
No! I’ve got more than “so”! Just give me a moment, will you?  
  
I’ve already given you six years!_  
  
“Lily, I…,” he began, but Lily put her finger up to his lips, shushing him in exactly the same way that the James stick-figure had shushed the Lily stick-figure earlier.   
  
“I know,” she said, her voice husky, her eyes nervous, looking for…reassurance?  
  
 _From me?  
  
Yes…that you feel the same way.  
  
Doesn’t she know that by now?_  
  
“Okay,” he said around the lump that was forming in his own throat. “Okay.”   
  
“Stop talking and get on with the  snogging already!” Sirius’s voice called out, and Lily and James both swung their gazes toward the boys’ staircase. Alice, Sirius, Amelia, Remus and Peter were lined up along the steps, watching.   
  
“Shut up, Padfoot!” James yelled out. “Get out of here, all of you! I can handle it from here, thank you!”  
  
The five friends all started laughing, and ran up the steps. James and Lily watched them disappear, and then turned their attention once again to each other.  
  
“So, do you want to come to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday?” Lily asked finally.  
  
“I already told you yes,” he said softly. “And I won’t even ask for the apology you owe me.”  
  
Lily smiled. “Good,” she said. “Because I had no intention of giving you one.”  
  
James grinned and stepped closer to her. “Then perhaps I ought to reconsider my acceptance of your proposition Miss Evans,” he said. “I mean if—,”  
  
“James?” Lily interrupted.   
  
“Yes?” he asked innocently.  
  
“Shut up and kiss me,” she said.  
  
 _Shut up and kiss you?  
  
Oh, listen to her for once already!  
  
Right!_  
  
“Your wish is my command,  m’lady,” he said, bending his head closer to her and pausing just before his lips touched hers. He heard her breath catch in her throat, and smiled slightly. “As it has always been.”  
  
James wrapped his hand in her hair, and touched his lips to hers softly, a jolt of electricity surging from his lips throughout the rest of his body as she pressed her lips against his, returning the kiss eagerly. He tightened his hand against the back of her head, and she pressed her body up against him softly. James paused for a moment, relishing the feel of her soft curves against him, before a loud cheer coming from the direction of the stairway seeped into his consciousness, and they pulled reluctantly apart. Lily’s lips were slightly swollen from the kiss, her hair was ruffled, and the only thing stopping him from catching her into his arms and kissing her again was the agitated look in her eye.  
  
“Will you get out of here?” she shouted to their friends, who were now clapping and whistling their approval.   
  
“I’ll take care of it,” James said, trying to catch his breath. He pulled out his wand, and flicked it quickly. “Accio invisibility cloak,” he said. A sound of something whizzing through the air followed, and their audience on the stairs ducked as the invisibility cloak grazed the tops of their heads before James caught it deftly in his hand. With a dramatic flourish, and a glare at the staircase, he draped it carefully over himself and Lily, to much groaning and grumbling from their friends.  
  
“They drag us into this for six years, and now when it’s finally time for the payoff, they ask us to leave?” Sirius growled, though he was grinning.  
  
“Our payoff is not having to listen to them argue anymore,” Remus explained.  
  
“Now if we could only get another very stubborn couple together,” Alice said, a glimmer in her eye.  
  
“What couple?” Peter queried, furrowing his forehead in confusion.   
  
“Don’t start,” Amelia said warningly. “Can’t we just be happy that James and Lily are together?”  
  
James waited until their voices had faded up the stairway, and then smiled at Lily. “So,” he said, looking tenderly into her eyes. The fear that he had seen in them in the split second before he’d kissed her the first time had been replaced with joy; there was no other word for it. Her eyes were filled with joy, and James thought that he might explode from happiness.  
  
“So,” she whispered, her breathing ragged and uneven as she lifted her mouth to meet his again. Tenatively, James allowed his tongue to explore the contours of her lips, before she parted them softly, and his tongue dove deeply inside, dancing with hers, before withdrawing again.  
  
 _I could do this all night.  
  
So…what’s stopping you?_  
  
James smiled down at her, running his hand through her soft hair.  
  
 _I love her hair.  
  
Now would be the perfect time to tell her that!  
  
Oh, yeah, right._  
  
“I love your hair, Lily.”  
  
“Do you?” she said curiously.  
  
“It’s beautiful. Just like you.”  
  
She looked up at him with a smile. “You should have tried that line years ago, James. It just might have worked.”  
  
“You have no idea how many times I tried, Lily,” he said, looking into her eyes sincerely. “The words just never seemed to come out right.”  
  
“Is that so?”  
  
“Yes,” he answered. “There are so many things I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.”  
  
Lily leaned closer to him, her lips just grazing the edge of his ear. “So tell me now.” She kissed his ear softly, lingering for a moment to allow her tongue to trace it slightly, before pulling back to look at him.  
  
James was finding it very hard to stand up. The sensation of her lips on his skin was threatening to cause his knees to buckle. “All right,” he said, cupping her face in his hand and gently massaging her cheek with his thumb. She closed her eyes with a soft sigh. “I love the way that anything I need to know about you, I can see in your eyes. It’s all there…all the fire, all the passion, all the gentleness, all the spirit. Everything that is you, I can see in your eyes.”   
  
“James I—”   
  
“Wait, I’m not done. I love the way you play with a strand of your hair when you’re thinking. I love the way you chew on your locket when you’re confused. I even love the way you stiffen your shoulders and back when you’re angry. I love the way that the robes that you wear accentuate every curve of your body…You have no idea how many times they’ve caused me to fantasize about kissing you when I’m supposed to be studying.”  
  
“James, I’m blushing,” Lily interrupted.   
  
“Then it’s working?” he said, cocking one eyebrow in question.  
  
“Like a charm.”  
  
He pulled her closer and covered her smiling lips with his own. His head began spinning slightly when he felt her respond by arching into him and running her hands through his hair…across his shoulders, and down his back, sending tiny shivers of pleasure across his entire body. But that was nothing compared to the sensation he felt when Lily ran the tip of her tongue across his lips and into his mouth. He pressed his mouth passionately to hers, and felt her respond in kind, their tongues no longer exploring, but invading.   
  
When breathing became difficult, James pulled back and began kissing Lily’s jaw, working his way to whisper her name gently into her ear. He felt her shiver in response and lean her head back, exposing the creamy slope of her neck, which he promptly began to pepper with tender kisses as he worked his way down toward her shoulder. He heard her moan softly in response to his touch and his heart leapt with joy at the sound.  
  
“Lily,” he said, pulling apart from her, unable to suppress the grin that was spreading across his face from ear to ear.  
  
“Yes?” she asked breathlessly.  
  
“I told you that you wouldn’t be able to resist the Potter charm forever.”  
  
“I could have,” she insisted, running her hands softly through his hair.  
  
“Then why didn’t you?” he queried.  
  
“Why would I?” she countered. “When kissing you is ever so much more fun than fighting with you.”  
  
James laughed. “Indeed,” he said. “I think we finally agree on something.” He looked at her for a moment longer, taking in her scent, the feel of her body against his, the way her eyes sparkled at him. He had dreamt of this moment for so long that now that it was finally here, he didn’t want it to end. Apparently, Lily had the same thought, because she smiled.  
  
“Okay, then. Let’s stop talking now before we mess it up.” She pulled his head toward her and hungrily pressed her lips against his.  
  
 _I’m the luckiest man alive.  
  
_

_  
So l say why don't you and I get together  
We’ll take on the world, be together forever  
Heads we will and tails we'll try again_


End file.
